The Focus Factor

beep, beep, beep.... I am not terminally ill, I am in now way critical. But its still a concept for our consciousness. Appendicitis, internal infection or whatever they decide the issue is; I've been admitted. I entered the emergency room expecting to be discharged an hour or so later with some pain and anti nausea medication. But instead after 9 hours in the ER I was brought up to the inpatient floor. Its 4:06am and I'm on my 4th IV bag, tons of zofran, and about 4 high doses of morphine. I don't think I'm going to die, but non the less I still cant stop my mind from poking at the idea. And sitting here at 4am on my laptop with the lights off (so as not to disturb my roommate) I worry for my illness. Is it selfish for me to worry about my appendicitis when down the hall im sure somebody is dying of cancer? Maybe. But it is surely a wast of my mental capacity. If you ask me, our minds kind of work like a computer (I know this is a frequently used analogy) but for all intensive purposes well say my mind is a 32 gigabyte iPhone. Since I have a lot of space for applications, pictures, and software; you might think there is no reason to worry about leaving FaceBook running in the background, and you are probably right. But once you've got it in your mind that you have unlimited space, we forget that its impossible for anything to be truly endless, except space {NO EDGE}. So eventually if you dont force quit your applications every ow and again, you might have a hardware crash. in my mind, the issue we run into is less about hyper focusing on one thing, and more about under focusing on too many things. So the fact that I am missing my D&D campaign while im in the hospital, im sure my Dad is concerned about my medical condition, and my mind is toying with its own morality is way more stressful then if I was just focused on this moment, and its concerns. So whats the message here? Live in the moment. Its over preached, but under utilized.